China Doll

I see them as they pass me by

Glaring in their greed.

Some, however, stare up in awe,

As if I’m the answer to their prayers.

Awe gives in to hate

They want to be



My cheeks are flushed with rose

Lips painted deepest red

My eyes are wide and ocean blue

Skin, the palest shimmer of moonlit dread.

Flawless and beautiful

But, beauty’s only skin deep.

I’m afraid to say,

Everyone else is beautiful

Not me.


I see them as they pass me by

Smiling, Laughing, Frowning, Crying

Stretching their legs and holding eachother

Showing off God’s great Glory.

They want to look like me.

But I?

I would die to be them.


Watching behind this invisible glass

My heart, so full of loneliness

Soul just wanting to spread it’s wings.

I imagine being able to feel my face

Or touch my hair.

But my movements – inextricably bound

Like a puppet waiting for it’s master’s hand.

Be a puppet no longer!

I want to move I want to feel I want to be


I hear them as they pass by

Whispering stories…

A Princess trapped

Locked far away

But rescued by her Prince.

One in sleep, so much like death

Saved by love’s undying lips

I wonder – is this real?


I hear the word of “China Doll”

Pass from mouth to mouth to my own ears…



Is this me?

Is ‘China Doll’ like ‘Princess’?

If it is, I like the sound…

“China Doll”


Now, I say…


I’ll be your little China


If you save me from my hell.

I’ll be your sweet scented Lilac,

If you break this chain of loneliness.


I’ll be your undying love,

Your China Doll

If you bring me to existence.






I wrote this what feels like a long time ago within the confines of a high school society and performed it at my school’s poetry slam in 2006.



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